smoke and mirrors

May 3, 2011 § Leave a comment

In carnival funhouses it’s usually not the shifting floors or distorted sounds that give us the biggest thrill. No, it’s the trick mirror maze that gives raffle-ticket holders just the right proportion of creepiness and amazement to keep them coming back county fair after county fair. And then there’s the macbook photobooth epidemic whose twirl and stretch effects are infecting profile pictures worldwide. What is it that draws to seeing warped projections of ourselves? It’s a fascination with reassuring ourselves of what we aren’t, because we can’t be sure of what we are. It’s the urge to see yourself the way other people see you, an impossible feat. I was smacked with the realization that you never truly know how other people see you last night, after the news of Osama’s killing ushered in a 2-hour discussion on capital punishment. “You’re such an anglo-saxon”. The words were used jocularly, of course, and yet I was astonished by the adjective I never dreamed would be directed at me. My roommate laughed and provided the corroborating evidence from my mannerisms and way of speaking.  Despite my efforts, I remain a product of my estranged environment’s history and can admit no satisfactory apology.

The past two days have been less about my project and more about taking care of business regarding those pesky lingering things you’ve promised yourself you’ll do. You know, like refilling the band-aids in that emergency kit in the trunk or finishing the book you started last year. My to-dos are not quite as trivial, since they all involve employment. By way of a language school tour, words of mouths of friends of friends, and a fistful of fliers, I’m spreading word that I’d like to offer English courses.  I guess I’m an anglo-saxon after all.

Tonight, watching the greatly anticipated Real Madrid vs Barcelona football match. Tomorrow, quick stop over in Kenitra where, with a little luck, I’ll finish my translations.


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