December 10, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’ve been told to clarify my thoughts from that last paragraph on that last post. It’s nothing I can’t get over, but there’s something about people telling me who I can and cannot be…. I just need to explore my feelings and reactions.
Why the hell did that impoverished woman in the rural area feel compelled to give me, of all the possible parting gifts, a kimono? Did her illiteracy and a lack of education convince her to? More than anything, I’m sick of the men here who can’t control themselves and literally point into my face and say “JAPANESE!” or “CHINESE!” and then walk away. And I’m sick of people asking what my nationality is and not believing me when I say American. It makes it hard to find my place here, just as it sometimes makes it hard to find a place in the US . In many people’s eyes, I can never be an American, not a true one anyway (yes, they use that term). I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I love my brown skin, but I also love my country. Why can’t the two be compatible?